i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
