You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
