Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
