what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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