I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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