all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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