to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
