there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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