ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
