I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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