Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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