So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
