do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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