puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
