Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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