I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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