remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
