I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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