Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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