I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
