I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
