It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
