I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
