i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize