Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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