You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
