I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
