have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
