I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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