There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
