i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
