found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
