Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
