In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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