Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
