He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
