I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
