At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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