Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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