I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
