i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
