New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just google imaged poop.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
