Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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