Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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