Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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