When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
