You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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