you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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