Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
