it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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