I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
