Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
